The Lives of Others
People than know me long and well enough have all had the same reaction when they heard of my figure skating adventure - "Strange, but it kind of make sense".
I do agree completely with this statement, it is strange that a woman on the verge of the forties puts on tight clothes to swirl on the ice. It makes sense though for me to do that since I have always loved ice skating and maybe now it is just not too late to do something that I have always loved.
For several years I parked this ambition in the back of my mind and for some short moments I thought that maybe my daughter could pick up one ambition of mine which I have never been able to pursue.
Well if you know my daughter you will realize how completely wrong of me was to think that. First of all because it is really not wise to expect from children with movement disorders to even enjoy disciplines that require a lot of balance and coordination, second because even if she would be the most talented athlete in the world it would not be fair of me to project on her my ambition.
This brought me to the first statement about life of this post, I as a parent should not push my children to live my life (or the life that I would have liked to live). Very common parenting mistake, but very easy mistake to make.
Turning this thought around in my head as I usually do when I shower or when it is two at night and I cannot sleep, I bumped into its dual. I as a parent should not live the life of my children and my mind goes straight to the behavior of the soccer moms that I met when I was member of the parents commission at my daughter school.
Being in the school play or not, being the queen bee of your class or not, having many or no friends does not belong to the parent life so let's stop acting as if it does.
Trying to re-live your youth through your children is neither healthy nor wise.
This left me with the only option of living my own life, no excuses and no alternatives! Pursue my own passions and ambitions even if this brings me straight to the hospital on training day number one (yes ice skating is possibly a dangerous sport).
I hope I will be able to keep the same clarity of mind through more decision moments in life, I am sure times will come when I will be tempted to live the lives of others (great German movie btw). In these times I hope I will stay true to myself.
I do agree completely with this statement, it is strange that a woman on the verge of the forties puts on tight clothes to swirl on the ice. It makes sense though for me to do that since I have always loved ice skating and maybe now it is just not too late to do something that I have always loved.
For several years I parked this ambition in the back of my mind and for some short moments I thought that maybe my daughter could pick up one ambition of mine which I have never been able to pursue.
Well if you know my daughter you will realize how completely wrong of me was to think that. First of all because it is really not wise to expect from children with movement disorders to even enjoy disciplines that require a lot of balance and coordination, second because even if she would be the most talented athlete in the world it would not be fair of me to project on her my ambition.
This brought me to the first statement about life of this post, I as a parent should not push my children to live my life (or the life that I would have liked to live). Very common parenting mistake, but very easy mistake to make.
Turning this thought around in my head as I usually do when I shower or when it is two at night and I cannot sleep, I bumped into its dual. I as a parent should not live the life of my children and my mind goes straight to the behavior of the soccer moms that I met when I was member of the parents commission at my daughter school.
Being in the school play or not, being the queen bee of your class or not, having many or no friends does not belong to the parent life so let's stop acting as if it does.
Trying to re-live your youth through your children is neither healthy nor wise.
This left me with the only option of living my own life, no excuses and no alternatives! Pursue my own passions and ambitions even if this brings me straight to the hospital on training day number one (yes ice skating is possibly a dangerous sport).
I hope I will be able to keep the same clarity of mind through more decision moments in life, I am sure times will come when I will be tempted to live the lives of others (great German movie btw). In these times I hope I will stay true to myself.
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