The democratic disease
Don't worry, I am not going to write about politics. Even though much can be said about democracy today, there are many worthier bloggers than me already covering this topic from every possible angle.
I am just going to talk about a children party my daughter went to today. "What does it have to do with democracy?" you will say. Give me a moment and I will get to that.
Even though I grew up in an extremely democratic and politically correct family, my parents took extremely much care that I should only be spending my time with "the right" kind of people. You can easily imagine that "the right" kind in their mind equaled to "their" kind.
On this point while growing up I have always wondered what my attitude would be when I would have children of my own. My main concern was not whether my parents attitude was right or wrong, but whether their strategy was even applicable to me as a parent at all.
I have always had a hunch, that now is a proven reality, that "my" kind is relatively scarce to find (especially in the Netherlands). Did I want to sentence my children to solitude and isolation, just for the sake of their proper education and of my own weirdness? Tricky, very tricky.
As sometimes happens, in spite of all our worldly efforts to achieve a certain status and a comfortable situation, fate has something else in mind for us.
Fate and the dutch education system threw my daughter in a school whose population is not determined by wealth, or culture or religion or educational beliefs but by neurological defects. These, I had to learn, have no correlation with any of the above mentioned typical common denominators of society. How politically correct, how democratic is that?!?!
Looking at the parents gathered outside the party venue I can see the broadest cross section of society I have ever been part of. Yes I am part of this group. Is this group made of people of "my" kind? Certainly not (but as I said before hardly to be expected anyway). Should I not allow Nora to spend time with these kids because their parents are different from us? There are no other kids at this moment in her life, therefore this is hardly my choice, and maybe for the better, maybe it is a relief. Sometimes some parenting choices are better left to fate.
But let me tell you one last thing. What I will not do is to send her around as badly dressed as the other kids, at least on this I will not let fate take over!
I am just going to talk about a children party my daughter went to today. "What does it have to do with democracy?" you will say. Give me a moment and I will get to that.
Even though I grew up in an extremely democratic and politically correct family, my parents took extremely much care that I should only be spending my time with "the right" kind of people. You can easily imagine that "the right" kind in their mind equaled to "their" kind.
On this point while growing up I have always wondered what my attitude would be when I would have children of my own. My main concern was not whether my parents attitude was right or wrong, but whether their strategy was even applicable to me as a parent at all.
I have always had a hunch, that now is a proven reality, that "my" kind is relatively scarce to find (especially in the Netherlands). Did I want to sentence my children to solitude and isolation, just for the sake of their proper education and of my own weirdness? Tricky, very tricky.
As sometimes happens, in spite of all our worldly efforts to achieve a certain status and a comfortable situation, fate has something else in mind for us.
Fate and the dutch education system threw my daughter in a school whose population is not determined by wealth, or culture or religion or educational beliefs but by neurological defects. These, I had to learn, have no correlation with any of the above mentioned typical common denominators of society. How politically correct, how democratic is that?!?!
Looking at the parents gathered outside the party venue I can see the broadest cross section of society I have ever been part of. Yes I am part of this group. Is this group made of people of "my" kind? Certainly not (but as I said before hardly to be expected anyway). Should I not allow Nora to spend time with these kids because their parents are different from us? There are no other kids at this moment in her life, therefore this is hardly my choice, and maybe for the better, maybe it is a relief. Sometimes some parenting choices are better left to fate.
But let me tell you one last thing. What I will not do is to send her around as badly dressed as the other kids, at least on this I will not let fate take over!
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